


Lost

by Dlxm950



Series: Story of the Frost Lich [4]
Category: Warcraft - All Media Types, World of Warcraft
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Character Death, Dark, Death, Depressing, Depression, F/F, Heavy Angst, Loss, Partner Betrayal, Post-Warcraft III, Sad, Suicidal Thoughts, WarCraft III - Freeform, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:47:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22314274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dlxm950/pseuds/Dlxm950
Summary: "To be or not to be. That’s not really a question."—Jean-Luc Godard
Relationships: Alexstrasza/Alleria Windrunner, Jaina Proudmoore/Sylvanas Windrunner
Series: Story of the Frost Lich [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1352464
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	1. Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: If you suffer from depression or Suicidal tendencies please know that no matter how bleak life may be now it will get better. The best part about hitting rock bottom? The only way is up. 
> 
> Seriously though if you feel that reading this story may push you into a dark place you can't get out of don't read it. 
> 
> I do not own World of Warcraft or any of its characters.

Alleria had never felt so truly alone. 

Banished from her home land. One sister dead and risen while another stared at her like a painting from a bygone era. Then hope, a brief shining glimmer of happiness with Alexstrasza, a real second chance, and she had gone and ruined that too. 

That was all she was good for, ruining things, making ash out of everything and everyone she touched. 

She had abandoned her son to follow his father to a war they stood no chance of winning. 

Abandoned her sisters to the cruelty of the universe as she strived to protect an ideal that had never truly existed. 

Nearly killed one of the few good things in her life because she had been too much of a coward to do what should have been done long ago.

_ Everything was covered in fog as she came too. Dragons were rushing around her, clearly in a panic. The sanctum lay in ruins around her, broken columns and collapsed arches. What had happened? Were they under attack? Was that why she was so dizzy? Had she been struck by a ballista?  _

_ Alexstrasza, she had to find her, protect her. That was all that mattered. _

_ Slowly she began to get to her feet but found herself pinned to the ground by a heavy weight on her back. ‘It must be rubble from artillery fire.’ She rationalized to herself and so continued to struggle to get out from beneath it.  _

_ That was until the rubble let out a deep warning growl.  _

_ She froze at the sound of it. Her mind pausing as the world truly came into focus.  _

_ It wasn’t rubble keeping her down but a red dragon. The other dragons weren’t running in chaos, ‘there running away from me…” She realized. All the younglings and whelps were running out of the chamber or being carried away by older dragons.  _

_ That’s when she remembered.  _

_ She had lost control. The void had struck during a moment of weakness and she had been consumed. Only fragments of her time within the voids embrace returned to her but it was enough.  _

_ She had attacked. The guards, the children, then Alexstrasza had come down to help and…Belore Alexstrasza.  _

_ She could see her. The life binders prone form leaned up against on of the broken pillars as various healers tried to help. She had a long gash up her torso going from her left hip to her right shoulder. It had clearly been cauterized but the damage was intense nonetheless. Her eyes were glazed and a small trail of blood flowed down her chin. _

_ Alleria could feel the sting in her eyes as she truly took in all she had done. Above her the dragon pinning her held no remorse as it heard her sobs begin to come forth. _

_ “Look what you have wrought! We trusted you, loved you, cared for you, and this is what you give us in return?! Carnage and ruin?! Why could you not have done the honorable thing and died all those years ago!” _

_ Her tears were flowing without abandon now as the cruel words entered her ears. A mantra of 'sorries' and pleas for forgiveness flowing from her lips.  _

_ They fell on deaf ears.  _

_ Eventually she was escorted out Wyrmrest temple and thrown into the unforgiving expanse of Northrend. Alone once more. _

And here she was now. Half frozen to death, starving and dehydrated, looking out across the frozen expanse. Word had travelled quickly about her loss of control as every Alliance settlement on the continent refused to let her within a mile of their homes. 

She couldn’t blame them. 

She was a monster, a weapon, she was not to be trusted. 

Their cruel words continuing to haunt her no matter how far from the settlements she went. 

_Monster._ ** _Traitor._** **_Murderer._**

Eventually she stopped trying to help herself. Didn’t bother trying to hunt food. Stopped looking for clean water. Stopped trying to find a safe place from the cold. 

It was the least she could do, to try and make sure some life remained, considering how much she’d snuffed out. It’s not like she deserved it anyway.

_ “You must eat.” _

And the whispers. What a low she had reached were the only thing that seemed to care about her was the most evil force in the universe. But even it had begun to abandon her, slowly.

The void whispered to her with decreasing regularity. First every day to every three days to hardly even once a month. If she had to guess there were two possible reasons. The first was that she was getting too weak to hear it and the other was that the void had figured that she had gotten too weak to be of any value.

Maybe it was for the best. At least if the void abandoned her he could die knowing she could truly never hurt anyone again. The world would be safe. Wasn’t that the point? Was that not what she had been striving for all those years ago when she stepped through the dark portal?

Maybe, but as she felt the cold slowly begin to settle in her bones it didn’t really matter. Her time was up and as her body slowly froze she let out her last breath.

Content in death’s embrace. 


	2. Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2

Alexstrasza had never really considered the full extent of her gift from Freya. To be given power over life by a titan watcher, the honour was great, the responsibility even greater. Yet as she stared at the frozen corpse before her she cursed that decision. 

When her children had brought the body back to Wyrmrest it was with great shame and trepidation. She could not realize why at first, it was an unfortunate reality that sometimes adventures got lost in the frozen tundras, at least until one of them removed the blanket covering the face. Her Alleria, her love, her everything. 

One of the last shining lights in a world that seemed to grow ever darker. Snuffed like a candle in the night. Her once tan skin now gaunt and greying, her bright beautiful eyes lifeless and dull. The fire of her determination snuffed. Alexstrasza's heart shattered as she approached the body. She knew she must be crying, the tears of her anguish falling against the lifeless ground, but she could not feel it. She could not feel anything.

Her powers flared to life in her hand, an act of desperation, she could not,  _ would _ not, lose another lover. Korialstrasz had been such a hard loss. From the way it happened to the lies that followed. Her heart had just begun to heal when Alleria had wandered in her life, in need of help and warmth, and Alexstrasza had given it. Her heart and soul. Now dead and still beneath her hands.

Her powers flared bright, the green power of life itself answering her call. The grass beneath them began to grow, the trees began to blossom, and vines rolled up the walls sealing the breaches and securing the large supports that strained under the weight of the collapsed rubble. So much life, so much growth, so much  _ power _ .

Alleria did not change. Her cold skin and still heart remained.

Eventually Alexstrasza had to stop. If for nothing more than the sheer limitations of her own abilities. Her skin was flushed and her breath laboured. The spell had taken all of her energy and still it was not enough. Death, it seemed, was beyond her power to heal. So as she clung to the corpse of her lover, desperate for a miracle that would never come, she broke. Her heart shattered, her soul empty, her mind manic. 

That is when the whispers began. Dark and seductive they flowed into the sanctum on a cloud of death magic, the kind which left no question as to whom exactly had stepped foot upon her domain. 

_ Your power is not enough… _

_ You can not help her… _

_ Speak to us, allow us entry, embrace her call… _

_ Only the master of Death can cure her… _

Then she heard it, the tell tale clack of a staff on stone, the air shimmering with the power they possessed. 

The Frost Lich.

Once upon a time she had been Jaina Windrunner. Beloved wife of Quel’thalas Ranger General and Archmage of the Kirin Tor now the Frost Lich of Northrend and the bane of Kul Tiras. The butcher of Quel’thalas, the keeper of Undercity, the Scourge Queen, and many more titles. Her list of achievements were as long as they were horrible. 

She did not speak at first, she did not need to, the life binder was well aware of exactly what the Lich Queen wanted. Many times over the last decade the Frost Lich had approached her, an alliance, and treaty, mutual assistance she had called it. Alexstrasza was no fool however, she knew exactly what Jaina sought from her and what such a deal would entail, so she refused every time. 

Now though, with her lover dead in her arms and her home in ruins, calm rational thought was far beyond her reach. To temptations of such power, to be able to hold her lover in her arms once more, to cherish her, to hold tight and never let her go. I was a temptation no living being could refuse. 

“I always wondered how Alleria would perish, I must admit though that I always envisioned it would be by my hand, rather than that of those she loved most.” Jaina told her as she crouched down beside her. The remnants of Frostmourne, shattered during Arthas defeat, glowed bright along her staff. Imbuing it with unnatural powers that, usually fought against her own power with every fibre of its being, now wrapped around her like a cloak. Comforting in the worst way imaginable. 

“This was not meant to happen…” Alexstrasza muttered. “She was meant for so much more…”

“On that we can agree.” Jaina responded. 

They lapsed back into silence after that. Alexstrasza still mourning, her sobs loud in the echoing chamber, ugly and raw in a way she had not felt in a very long time. Jaina for her part simply remained silent. At some point she waved forward someone from the shadows her lover responding quickly to grab the Frost Liches staff before retreating back into the dark. 

Eventually Alexstrasza's sobs faded, her throat raw and voice horse, before finally looking up into those glowing blue eyes. She was surprised when she found compilation, and with a start she realized that Jaina truly understood what she was feeling, the true loss that came with losing someone you thought to dedicate your life too. Slowly Jaina brought a hand down to cover her own where they lay above her lover's heart. Then she made her pitch.

“I can give you my power, to bring her back, to hold her and love her and cherish her once more.” Jaina told her and it was different from all the other propositions Jaina had given her. Where those had come from a desire to control her, to rule Northrend without equal, this one came from her heat. It was not a demand of submission but rather an offer of salvation. 

“Arthas had Sindragosa to lead his Undead Flight, if you accept my offer you would take her place. From there I could bestow upon you the power to raise your lover into your arms. You need only say yes.”

At that Alexstrasza could feel the power of death around her. Calling and crying, worse than any void corruption of light filled lie, the worst kind of power, promised not in slavery but freedom. Every once of her own power cried and raged at the thought of it. That it was wrong on a fundamental level, that it went against everything she had sworn to protect as the life binder, against the promises she had made when Freya had imbued her all those years ago.

She didn’t listen.

With a nod of her head the powers of death raced into her veins. She cried out in pain as the powers of life and death war'd within her. Clashing and warping until only one remained. Her red armour turned purple, her eyes blue, and her skin once tan now glowed an ethereal white. When she rose from the ground she could feel it all, life and death, the power of the Titans corrupted by Fel magics and warped into something new. 

“Rise Alexstrasza, rise Queen of Dragons, rise Aspect of Undeath!” Jaina cried from behind her.

And she could feel it. The powers of the Frost Lich Flowing through her veins. It was unlike anything she had ever felt before. It felt both wrong and right at the same time. A complete defilement of her purpose and a liberation into something new. Then it was like everything was clicking into place. There was a lock on her lover's body and she had finally found the key. So she reached deep, beyond life, beyond death, and into the very Shadowlands itself. Then she  _ pulled _ .

Then Alleria was shooting upright in her arms, screaming and thrashing, her hands scratching and clawing at anything in reach. Her skin now tinged purple thrummed with energy in Alexstrasza’s hands, her once blue eyes haunting in death now glowed a soft blue, her hair brittle and dry like wheat a far cry from the golden silk of her life.

But she was  _ alive _ .

And in that moment Alexstrasza couldn’t care less if she had betrayed every principle she ever stood for because the woman she loved was in her arms once more. She knew she would regret this though, she would change as Alleria would, and when her lover tried to leave she knew, deep in her heart, that she would never let that happen.

No matter the cost.


End file.
